


surpass perfection

by dracosbadfaith



Series: bury my insecurities, honey [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Body Image, Delilah is an OFC, Established Relationship, F/M, Harry Potter is a good husband, Insecurity, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV First Person, POV Original Female Character, Unconditional Love, insecure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:27:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23407537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracosbadfaith/pseuds/dracosbadfaith
Summary: After their first intimate moment together, Delilah still has trouble getting over her insecurities. Harry is having none of it.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Original Female Character(s)
Series: bury my insecurities, honey [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662355
Kudos: 16





	surpass perfection

**Author's Note:**

> it's a short one, ladies and gents. enjoy!

I hear the rain and smell the damp earth as my eyes flutter open. I had left the window open a little bit the night before, letting nature seep into our bedroom throughout the night. I open my eyes to find it foggy and raining lightly outside. The perfect day to stay in.

I stretch, smile, and roll over to face Harry. He’s still sleeping soundly, little puffs of air blowing from his nose. My smile expands at the sight. 

I love him. Exceptionally so. I could never love anyone more than I do him. He is my everything, my other half, my missing piece.

Before we got together, I felt empty. A vessel of sorts. But then, the moment he laid his eyes on me for the first time, the moment he lifted his lips in a dashing smile, the moment he took my hand in his, I knew I was no longer going to be empty. We had danced the first time we met, a swirl of laughter and mediocre dance skills. I can still feel the pull of his hand to the open space in the middle of the venue that we had met, a wedding of our mutual friends. He spun me lightly in circles, pulling me acceptably close, laughing along with me as we definitely made fools of ourselves with our fun. 

I blush at the memory, loving how our introductory took place. Once back in reality, I slip soundlessly out of bed, pulling on my robe to contain my sleepy body heat. I make my way to the bathroom to shower and get the day started. 

Once I’ve washed up, I undress as the shower water heats up. My mirrored reflection catches my eye, and I turn to face myself head on. It doesn’t appeal to me in any way, being out of shape and mildly disproportionate. I bite my inner lip, my already low self esteem dropping even more so. I gently run my fingertips over my raised stretch marks, noticing some enlarged red ones. New ones, I tell myself. I turn to the side, wondering if my stomach may have thinned out slightly. It hasn’t. Not since I last checked. I don’t spare myself any more attention, knowing that only bad will come from it, that nothing I think or say will change myself, and that I could spend hours upon hours doing it. 

The water is hot and slides down my skin with the renewed purpose to clean. I don’t waste any time, washing my hair first, then combing through a few pumps of conditioner. Aside from my morning self-loathing, my thoughts are consumed by the sudden memory of last week. With Harry. Our first time being relatively intimate. I chuckle humorlessly at the memory.

We haven’t done anything since, aside from a few more heated makeout sessions. Harry has remained his usual self, careful and gentle, cautious when making the first move. I however, have declined somewhat. Of course, I have.

I thought I was somewhat brave when I had let him see me, semi-naked, and how we embraced in our physical contact. And not that I regret it, because seriously, I don’t. It's just that that was such a hard thing to do, and I mainly did it for Harry’s sake, so he wouldn’t blow up or something.

I’m so lost in my thoughts that I miss the sound of the door opening, the slight rustle of clothing, and the scraping back of the shower curtain, to reveal a very naked, very handsome, somewhat sleepy Harry Potter.

“Hiya,” he smiles down at me.

My eyes blow open wide and I scramble at the shower curtain to cover myself. “Harry!” I shout, startled.

“Thought I’d join you,” he says with a sly smile, slowly pulling the curtain out of my grip.

“Harry, I- I can’t.” I say, fearful that he’ll see me completely naked.

He stops, looking like I’d kicked his puppy. “Oh, ok.”

Well now I feel like shit. “Harry, wait, no. I just,” I sigh deeply, trying not to hyperventilate. I can’t think of a way to beat around this massive bush that just seems to grow like a fucking weed, so in the short 15 seconds I have to come up with an explination as to why I don’t want Harry to see me naked, I decide to just tell him the truth. I sigh one more time, turning to look him deep in the eye. “I really hate myself.” at his confused look, I reiterate. “Especially the way I look. I am very self conscious, that’s why you’ve never really seen me naked, that’s why I don’t like being touched, it’s because I hate myself and I don’t want you to hate me in the same way, once you see all of me. Especially about the thing I hate the most.”

He looks taken aback, and a little self conscious about him being naked and me being covered by the shower curtain, if the way he covers himself with his hands means anything. He sighs deeply, considering everything I’d just said, before replying.

“So you made me think, after all this time, that you wanted to wait till marriage?” I nod. He doesn’t sound angry, just off-put. “Then, once we got married, did you just think I’d forget about it?” at my silence, he continues. “So after all this time, you made me think that you didn’t want me to touch you because it made you uncomfortable, that you didn’t like it?” he’s looking at me, a little bit of hurtfulness shining through his attempt to be understanding. 

I nod, ashamed. I know that this affects everyone that’s close to me. I know that my insecurities can be detrimental to a lot of my relationships. 

He sighs, biting his lip and coming closer to me. He lifts my chin with a slight tilt of his finger. “I love you, but I don’t understand you.” It’s ok, not everyone does. “I don’t understand why you feel the way you do, because I don’t see what you see.” he continues. My gaze sharpens at that. “I don’t see any problems with your great health. I don’t see any flaws with your perfect sculpting. I don’t see any mistakes with your personality, or the way you care, or the way you get excited about such small blessings. I don’t understand what you mean when you say you hate yourself, because when I look at you, or think about you, all I know is love. You are inimitable to me. You may not be up to standards in your books, but you surpass perfection in mine.”

I am full on sobbing now, his words matched with a gentle caress to my cheek as he spoke. Harry carefully pulls the curtain from my body and moves me to see me in full. He inhales steadily, consuming me with his eyes as if I was the last thing he’d ever see again. 

“Perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> this series is very special to me. everything i add is completely my own feelings. it's hard to write it down sometimes, but i really do enjoy sharing certain scenarios of what i think would be a way to help deal with and heal from certain body image issues. i hope you enjoy this series :)


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